punjabi shayari

1. ina Chahunde haan per Zindagi r
Jina Chahunde haan per Zindagi raas nahi aundi,
Marna chahunde haan per Maut sadde pass nahi aundi,
Bahut Udaas haan asin is Zindagi ton.......
Rajni Teri Yaad vi te Tadpaon ton baaz nahi aundi By Bikram Varya
2. E Zindagi di chahat da silsila
E Zindagi di chahat da silsila hai koi mil gaya te koi Vichhar gaya,
Jinna nu Mangaya si Duwawaan che O Kisi hor nu Bina mange mil gaya. By Bikram
3. Varya Kinni Jaldi E Mulakaat Gujar Jandi ae,
Kinni Jaldi E Mulakaat Gujar Jandi ae,
Pyaas bujhdi nahi ke Barsaat gujar jaandi ae,
Rajni Apniyaan yaadaan nu keh de ki na aoun,
Kyonki Hun Neend aundi nahi ke raat gujar jandi aeBy Bikram Varya
4. Luddi atte Dhamaal Inna di Jaggo Nyari aa..
Luddi atte Dhamaal Inna di Jaggo Nyari aa...
Hakki, Balibaal, Kabaddi Khed Nyari aa..
Ral Mil Ke Mele te Tyohaar Manaunde Ne...
Sara Jag Gawah PUNJABI Sher Kahaunde Ne.....

punjabi jokes

Sante ki BV bhaag gai.
3 din baad wapis aaye
santa gusse se bola
"Hun ki lain aayi ain'

Preeto:

"Mobile da charger".

Oh menu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c
Oh menu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c
Na paper mainu aanda c, na paper ohnu aanda c

Sohna Dil te husan jawan hove
Sohna Dil te husan jawan hove... pakki sadak te ucha makaan hove... aa ghut ke jhaphi pa laie jera pehla chade oh baimaan hove

Tusi bare hi chungey, nice, sohney
Tusi bare hi chungey, nice, sohney, ashey, cute , lovely,payare, smart, decent, hubsurat, naik, perhaizgar te boht hi great and sharif insan da sms per rahe ho.

Sohniye tu Sohni vaang sohni ta badi ae,
par kade us vaang kache garre(matke) te vi tarri ae,
oh ta dariya wich dub marri yaar khatir,
saade layi das tu kade kande te vi khadi ae!!

Ni tu challi gayi England,
baja ke yaara da Band,
tu ki socheya ki yaar tera tabaah ho gaya,
India aa ke dekh yaara da vyaah ho gaya!!!

Assi maut rok rakhi te tera intzaar kita,
Sajna tere jhuthe laareya da aitbaar kita,
Assi jaan den lageya ek pal vi na layeya,
te tussi jaan len lageya vi nakhra hajaar kita!!

Ni tu challi gayi England,
baja ke yaara da Band,
tu ki socheya ki yaar tera tabaah ho gaya,
India aa ke dekh yaara da vyaah ho gaya!!!

joke

1. If Bill Gate's mother gets bored, What will u call her?
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Take a Guess....
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MOTHER-BOARD!
2. What is the difference between Paneer Masala and Paneer 'Tikka' Masala??
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Think!
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Think!
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Simple!
The Latter is Vaccinated...!!
3. What do u call a 800 year old Hanuman Temple???
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Guess???
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Give it a shot....
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MARUTI 800!!!
4. Zindagi me 2 logo ak bahut khayal rakhna
1= wo jis ne tumhari jeet ke liye sab kuch haara ho
2= wo jis ne khud ko haar kar tumhe jeeta ho......
5. What is it that RAM can do but RAVAN cant?
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A: Wear a T-SHIRT.

6. A Foolish man looks for happiness at distance.
But a Wise man grows happiness under his feet!!
If U look for happiness outside....it will always elude U...
But if U find it within Urself.....den happiness is all Urs...!!

7. 2 twin boys apne kamre me beithe the.
Ek haans ke lot pot ho raha tha....aur 2nd bahot hi udaas tha...!!!
Father: Tum itna Q haans rahe ho...???
Son: Mummy ne dono bar isi ko peet diya...!!!

8. der raat jab kisi ki yaad sataye,thandi hawa jab zulfo ko sahlaye,karke aakhein band so jao,kya pata jiska hai khyaal vo khwaabo mein aa jae.

9. Jiwan ke kanto bhare raste me kon aapka sath dega...?
Mummy/Papa..?
.No.
Husband/Wife..?
.No.
Friends..?
.No.
arre yaar ye koi nahi.
Kewal or kewal aapki "CHAPPALE"......!

10. Tu hi haqeeqat khwaab tu
Dariya tu hi pyaas tu
Tu hi dil ki bekarari
Tu sukoon tu sukoon
Jaoon main ab jab jiss jagah
Paoon main tujhko uss jagah
Saath hoke na ho tu hai
Rubaroo rubaroo

jokes

1. Santa: RIM ka connection lene gaya
Call rate bataye
1 pase per sec.
50 paise per min.
1 rupee per 3 min.
Santa: 1 rupee wala hi sahi hai roj khulle kahan se launga


2. MBBS Final Exam:-

Question: Fill in the blanks.

If a lady faints, we must 1st check her PU_S_

Only few intelligent students wrote PULSE



3. Santa galati se Sansad me chala gaya wanha upper kursi pe baithe huye se pucha

Tum kaun ho ho?
usne jawab diya : ME Speaker hun
Santa: jor se bola, to phir me Loud Speaker hun


4. You are my friend forever

I
CARE
For
U

Bcoz

You
Are

MY $weet

_,_,_,_,_,_,_,
¡ ,_,_,_,_,_)
¡ ¡_,_,_,
¡ _,_,_,)R I E N D
¡ ¡ O R E V E R
¡_,_¡



5. Why Aishwarya is not getting Pregnant ?
*
**
***
****
*****
****
***
**
*
Because
Abhishek still playing
UNGALI CRICKET.....


6. Pathan Apne 1 Saal K Bache Ko Hosptal Le Kr Gya

Dr: Isko Koi Sakht Cheez To Nai Khelai?

Pathan: Nai Kal Yeh Bohat Ro Rha Tha To Bas 1 Chutki Naswar Di Thi




7. Dil ne pyaar seekha par na seekha izhaar,,,
Dil ne aitbaar seekha par na seekha inkaar;;;;;
Dil ne muskrana seekha or kiya sab kuchh sweekar,,,
Dil ne har baar kuchh seekha par na mila use uska pyaar…..




8. Good Morning....

JUST 4 U
MUST 4 U
FIRST 4 U
Nothing 2 Wish
Nothing 2 Say
Always b HAPPY
Its my Pray
Have a nice day......!! :)


9. Good Morning....

JUST 4 U
MUST 4 U
FIRST 4 U
Nothing 2 Wish
Nothing 2 Say
Always b HAPPY
Its my Pray
Have a nice day......!! :)



10. According to Gabbar, Sher Ka Bacha Kaun hai??
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ANS:
HOLI.
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How?
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Coz....
He Keeps Saying...
"Holi CUB hai,
CUB hai Holi...."

jokes

1. Santa: Beta 2 Bistar kyun lagaye?Son: Ghar Pe 2 Guest ane hai.Santa: Kaun?Son: Mummy ka Bhai aur mera Mama.Santa: Fir 1 or laga, Mera Sala bhi aa rha hai!


2. A husband's cute love quote:"Even my child started walking without any support but my wife still feels to hold my hand while walking..."

3. Santa: Beta 2 Bistar kyun lagaye?Son: Ghar Pe 2 Guest ane hai.Santa: Kaun?
Son: Mummy ka Bhai aur mera Mama.Santa: Fir 1 or laga, Mera Sala bhi aa rha hai!

Santa park me baitha tha.

Friend:Kya kar raha hai ?

Santa:Badla le Raha hu !

Frnd:Kaise?

Santar: waqt Ne mujhe barbad kiya hai,ab mai waqt barbad kar raha hu.


4. Ravan to Doctor: Dr saheb mujhe kai dino se loose motion ki shikayat ho rahi hai.
Doctor: wo to hona hi tha "Dus input aur ek output."
bhala kaise nahi hoga.



5. Banta: Ek sar dard ki goli dena

Santa Chemist: Thora sochane ke baad, Sar dard hone ki to koi goli nahi aati



6. Banta khana bana raha tha aur pucha 'namak kidar hai'?
Santa : namak nahi hai.
Banta : toh Dal mein kya daalu?
Santa : "COLGATE" dalo, usme Namak hai.


7. Pakistani to American: Tum choron k sath kya Salook karte ho?
American: Hum unke sath bohat acha salook karte hain. Un k khany peeney ki her cheez ka khayal rakhte hain.
Pakistani: Bas! ye to kuch bhi nahi, Tum abhi hum se bohat peechay ho.
Hum to choron ko President bana dete hain.


8. Rancho : "1 Over me kitni Ball Fenki jati hai??"
Virus : "6 Balls"
Rancho : "Galat Jawab, 1 Over me 1 hi Ball 6 times fanki jati hai."
Think Differnt.


9. judge: u are crossing your limit.
Lawyer: kaun saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: hoe dare u calling me saala?
Lawyer: my lord i said kaun sa law aisa kehta hai.



10. Ek bar 300 phatan ship mein travel kar rahay the
lakin sare k sare mar gayeee
kaise?
nothing serious
ship bich mein kharab ho gai
tu dhaka denay neachey uttar gayeeeeee



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jokes

1. sholay.ki team ne ipl me hissa liya


gabber k bowlers ne 20 over me 350 run diye &usme extras 200 run diye.

batao kyu?


q ki wicket keeper thakur tha


2. Santa: Bakri se door bhag raha tha
Banta: Bhag kyon rahe ho
Santa: Mere Papa ne kaha tha mere dimag me bhoosa bhara hai, soch raha hun kahin ye kha na jaye



3. Examiner:y r u under tension?
Did u forget admit card,ID,or calculator?

studnt:No Sir!
By mistake i have brought tomorrow
exam’s pharray (Cheating material) today:-)

4. A man was asked 2 explain dis saying:

Sorrow is our constant companion, Happines comes & goes.

Man said:
My Wife is always wid me. Her frndz comes & goes ;->

5. 1 ladka - "Mere Papa itne lambe hai ki khade khade chalte FAN ko rok dete hai."
2 ladka - "Mere papa bhi lambe hai, lekin aisi chutia harkate nhi karte."



6. Pagal chinese se: tum american ho?
Chinese: nhi main chinese hu!
Pagal: nhi tum american ho.
chinese gusse me: haan main american hu Pagal: lagte to chinese ho.



7. Dost Pathan se:
APRIL FOOL manaya?
Pathan: Han
Dost:kis k saath?
Pathan:Bv k 7!
hum ne 3 bar talaq dia
jab wo rone laga to Hum bola
APRIL FOOL,
APRIL FOOL..!

8. Shaadi k turant baad pati k phone me Bibi ka naam:
My Life
mahine baad: My Wife
saal baad: Home
10 saal baad: Hitler
15 saal baad: WRONG NUMBER

9. Andha Aadmi-bhabhi ye lo laddu
Bhabhi naha rahi thi soch ki andha hai
bina kapdo ke bahar aa ke boli- ye kis liye,
Andha- Meri aankhe thik ho gai..


10. Lady: (to the waitress) May I have a bag to carry leftovers to my dog?
Baby: Oh mother, are we going to get a dog?

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joke

1. Pagal chinese se: tum american ho?
   Chinese: nhi main chinese hu!
   Pagal: nhi tum american ho.
   chinese gusse me: haan main american hu Pagal: lagte to chinese ho.
   
   
2. Santa tapasya karta hai
   
   Bhagwan: var mango vats
   Santa: Ye kya kiya aapne, me to vadhu ke liye tapsya kar raha tha
3. Jack: Promise me that when I die, I'll be buried way out at sea, with nothing around for miles.
   
   Rose: Why would you want that?
   
   Jack: Because your mother vowed to dance on my grave.
4. Monty: My wife is mad at me again.
   
   Bartender: Why is that?
   
   Monty: When I opened the front door this morning, her mother was on the step with her suitcases. She said, "Can I stay here for a few days?"
   
   I said, "NO PROBLEM!" and shut the door.

5. Teacher:Bada Ho K Kya Banoga


Santa:Pilot

Tcher:Q


S:Upar Accedent Ka Khatra Nhi Hota

.6. Profeser : Tum 20 Saal ki Ladki se Shadi karoge ya tumse 20 saal badi ladki se...?
Student : Sir Depend karta hai ki kaun jyada khubsurat hai, apki Beti ya apki bivi....

7. Santa - "Aisi konsi chiz hai jo Lal hai or trin trin karti hai."
Banta - "Telephone"
Santa - "Galat"
Banta - "to phir"
Santa - "Tamatar.... trin trin to confuse karne ke liye bola tha."


8 .1 pagal aadmi bahut der se chand ko dekh rha tha.
aur thodi der baad bola jalte raho beta,
jab bijli ka bill aayega tab pata chalega.

9. teacher 2 santa-tum me kuch kamiya hai
santa next day coat pant pehan k aata hai
teacher- what is this?
santa-raymond,the complete man.

10.EK VILLAGE KI AURAT CHEQUE CASH KARANE GAYI
CLERK;SIGN KRO
AURAT:KAISE?
CLERK:JAISE KHAT K END ME LIKHTI HO.
AURAT NE SIGN KIYA "TOHAR MUNNE KI AMMA"


11. Fact of Class Room: Jab Professor Tumhain Class Se Baahar Nikal Dey To Samajh Lo K Tum Taraqqi Kar Rahe Ho. Coz He Might be Afraid That You Know More Than Him! Be Positive.

12.BREAKING NEWS Hakumat ne Ailaan kiya hai 2009-2010 mein new shadi shuda jorey BIJLI peda karenge. Bache nahi Q k Mulk me Bijli ki kami hai Bachon ki NAHI.


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